Don't Hope Friend....Decide

This is how to live within and be rewarded by a great relationship. Especially a marriage. For anyone that think marriage is just a legal agreement so why bother?...will never know the rewards until they experience it for themselves.

It's not just the good of the relationship that impacts every aspect of your life, it's the no fun shit of the relationship that determines your daily outlook and how you interact with everyone else in your world. Why make that one of discontentment and disappointment? Instead choose your future. This is worth the read.

Don't Hope Friend....Decide

NEVER SAY NO TO PANDA !

Mabon

Happy Mabon - the pagan holiday for this Equinox

Mabon, (pronounced MAY-bun, MAY-bone, MAH-boon, or MAH-bawn) is the Autumn Equinox.

The Autumn Equinox divides the day and night equally, and we all take a moment to pay our respects to the impending dark. We also give thanks to the waning sunlight, as we store our harvest of this year's crops.

The Druids call this celebration, Mea'n Fo'mhair, and honor the The Green Man, the God of the Forest, by offering libations to trees. Offerings of ciders, wines, herbs and fertilizer are appropriate at this time.

Wiccans celebrate the aging Goddess as she passes from Mother to Crone, and her consort the God as he prepares for death and re-birth.

It is a time to finish old business as we ready for a period of rest, relaxation, and reflection.

Mabon is considered a time of the Mysteries. It is a time to honor Aging Deities and the Spirit World. Considered a time of balance, it is when we stop and relax and enjoy the fruits of our personal harvests, whether they be from toiling in our gardens, working at our jobs, raising our families, or just coping with the hussle-bussle of everyday life.

My Tarot card for the day was the Tower which in a reading many time signifies the end or the crumbling of something. But as a solo card, it represents the survivor in us. The left overs that fought the fight and are still standing. Enriched, scarred and grateful to be at the end of the road. It's also signifies a turning point where profound change brings new opportunity.

So....I wish for everyone a bountiful and rich Mabon and welcome you to a new season brimming with possibility, prosperity, acceptance and peace.

Melodrama Slideshow

Click here to view these pictures larger

Melodrama Pix

Melodrama Fun....

More pix here

http://cornfieldofdreams.shutterfly.com/pictures/8

Rollercoaster of Love

shit....it's exhausting to be in love sometimes.  I can't seem to keep up with my heart and my head.  I know there's supposed to be a rhythm between them but mine is out to lunch.

I keep fluctuating between deep betrayal from the past and the promise of the future.   At one time those two concepts had nothing in common.  Now however they do and all the good feelings that came with the future have turned to expectations of betrayal just waiting around the corner.  

How do I purge it???? How do I forget and not in that I must be whole again so I must forgive and willingly let it all go.  I mean how do I not remember it anymore?  How do I not feel it over and over again?  And most importantly how do I stop looking for ways that it's happening, convinced that it will again and again.

Why can't I seem to achieve peace of mind with it and stop wanting to hurt others as I continue to feel hurt?  

It's not that it happened...that I can live with.  What shreds me emotionally is not understanding it.  Yet when I'm given an explanation it's just not good enough because I compare actions against me to what I think I would have done in the situation(s).  I know I would have never....ever....never ended up in those situations, so no answer can satisfy me.  Most hated words right now?    "I don't know."

How does a person not know why they do something?  Especially something that will impact everything they swear to hold sacred in their lives?  How?

And there it is...the real question that is holding my heart and mind captive.  


No one seems to be able to help me through it either.  Especially the one I think that should have the answers.   I'm told it's not an unwillingness to answer my questions..it's just that it's an unknown reason.  


Fact is, someone didn't use the restraint I so admire in myself.  They teetered on a line of acceptability and played a game.  I want to believe and have been reassured that the line was only danced on and not completely crossed.  There is nothing evidenced, but I can't help but I obsess over the unanswered truth..  I torture myself with the questions and my own speculative answers.  Nothing based in fact...nothing based in reality.


It makes me continually suspicious.  I rehash the past and speculate how it will happen again in the future.  

At worst....I drown in my own doubt and lash out in hopes of hurting others like the perceived hurt I'm experiencing.

At best.....I wait for the next betrayal and lash out in hope of hurting others like the perceived hurt I'm experiencing.

When I am able to quiet the voice and get in the present...it's the polar opposite.  

• Loving...
• craving...
• wanting...
• needing...
• sharing 
• digging another person so much it makes your heart sing.  

Rollercoasters are thrilling...exciting...and scary.

I guess I didn't realize how low the bounce back was gonna be for getting as high as love makes me.  

Jane....get me off this crazy thing.

Love Songs and Mosquitos

How come love songs, especially those that talk about making love in the desert (aka...Peaceful, Easy Feeling from the Eagles), never mention the little things like the mosquitos that bite your ass?

Driving to work today and heard that song...always ilicits memories of my early years in Arizona and one damn hot summer.  Good times...even with the bug bites.

Mr. B....you will always have a special place in my heart.  It was nice to visit you this morning.  Think I'll go buy some sparking earrings this weekend.

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay,

against your skin so brown

and I wanna sleep with you

in the desert tonight

with a billion stars all around

'Cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the

ground

And I found out a long time ago

what a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go

I gotta peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

I get this feeling I may know you

as a lover and a friend

but this voice keeps whispering

in my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again

'Cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

I'm already standing...

on the ground
oooo, oooo